…That nobody reads this anymore. Which is perfectly fine. In this case my blog can be much more devoted towards more up-to-date issues that have come up. By the time someone does stumble upon this again it will no longer be pertinent. Unless of course someone is actually using the RSS feed subscription and therefore wouldn’t need to visit the site to set off the visitor tracker.

It has been an odd past few days. The first week of summer classes have been okay, nothing terribly exciting. It all seems rather like a review really. I’m slightly kicking myself for not having ever taken an AP history exam, but the professor I have is rather good, so it would have been sad not to have had him. Psychology on the other hand… Every psych course is essentially the same as all the others. Kind of glad it isn’t my major.

The real events of the past week have happened off campus though (how sad, on campus during the summer…). I got cast in Make Me A Song, which is thrilling. Joe K is in it as well, which means this is our fifth show together. I’ve done more shows with him than I have with any director, with any organization and at any performance space. Well, not really; six shows at BHS, but close enough. We work well together, and I’m rather excited because it’s wonderful material. We shall see.

Of course, news such as this came at another unforeseen expense. Jeffrey found out last week that one of his aunts committed suicide. Killed herself. Every time I hear about suicide I tend to have my own learned judgements jump right in the way, so I was at first taken aback by the news. I wish there was more I could do for him, because at first he said that he was doing fine. More than fine, really, so of course that snapped me out of it. He’s handling it in his own way and dealing with it more realistically. Hopefully he’ll be visiting soon.

These events must seem terribly unrelated, but I spent today and yesterday watching the first season of Dexter. A Showtime program isn’t typically something that I would pin for a bout of self-reflection, but bloodshed seems to do that to me. I’m… examining things more. Human relationships. I’m obviously not taking it as far as Dexter; the reason it’s a hit show isn’t because people relate to murdering people, but because they relate to alienation. I don’t suppose I’ll find any answers from watching it, but hey, it’s a good show.

I tend to feel alienated, I suppose. Only by my own thoughts would be a logical explanation, because I don’t tend to reach out on my own. It’s not my personality though. I enjoy gripping about living and trying to find better ways to do things. There are better ways to do things. There is always a better way. It’s sort of the capitalist view of morality. I’m not talking about greater ends related to their smaller means, but really just the smaller means. I’m just not quite sure what the greater end is.

That was mildly depressing. It wasn’t meant to be. It’s just late.